The Growing Trend Of 'Grey Divorces'- Expert Reveals Reason, Shares Tips

The music world is surprised with this news that AR Rahman has decided to divorce his wife, Saira Banu, after almost 30 years together. While these situations are undoubtedly tough, they remind us of the importance of approaching divorce with kindness and respect.

It’s a common misconception that divorce must be filled with anger or hostility but with the right mindset, couples can also separate on good terms. Having gone through his own separation after 20 years of marriage while maintaining a good relationship with his ex-wife. What surprises more is that nowadays mostly couple decides to separate after age 50 and that's called 'Grey Divorce'.

There has been a remarkable shift in the divorce landscape over the past decade. The phenomenon called "grey divorce" – couples splitting after age 50 – isn't just a trend; it's becoming a social movement that's reshaping our understanding of late-life relationships and challenging traditional notions of ageing together. While divorce rates in younger age groups have stabilised or declined, separations among long-term married couples have surged, creating what we call a "relationship revolution" in later life.

Here is a list of reasons for the rise of ‘grey divorce’ as shared by Dr Chandni Tugnait, MD (A.M) Psychotherapist, Coach & Healer , Founder & Director, Gateway of Healing.

● Changing social dynamics: 

Evolving social norms have dramatically influenced this trend. Today's 50+ generation is healthier, more active, and more financially independent than ever before. We frequently hear phrases like "I want more out of life" or "We've grown in different directions" during therapy sessions. Women, in particular, are increasingly initiating these separations, empowered by financial independence and changing gender roles.

● Technology's role: 

Studies indicate how technology has become a surprising catalyst. Dating apps and social media have opened new avenues for connection, making the prospect of starting over less daunting. Clinical observations show numerous individuals reconnecting with old flames or finding new partners online, challenging the notion that romance belongs only to the young.

● Financial implications: 

Economic factors always have a major role in all aspects of human life.  The baby boomer generation has accumulated significant wealth, making divorce more financially feasible. However, grey divorce often comes with complex financial challenges, particularly regarding retirement savings and property division.

● Impact on family structures: 

Grey divorce creates unique family dynamics. Adult children often struggle with their parents' separation more than younger children might. Therapy sessions frequently reveal families grappling with holiday arrangements, grandparenting roles, and the redistribution of family responsibilities.

● Cultural shift: 

Perhaps most significantly, there is a fundamental shift in how society views marriage. The 
notion of staying together "for the sake of the children" or "till death do us part" is being replaced by what is called "life satisfaction prioritisation." People are increasingly asking themselves, "Is this how I want to spend my remaining years?"

● Healthcare considerations:

Health-related issues often influence grey divorce decisions. Long-term caregiving responsibilities, differing approaches to ageing, and health management can strain relationships. I have seen couples separating due to divergent views on retirement lifestyle choices and health priorities.

● Future trends: 

This trend shows no signs of slowing. Based on the current scenario, we can predict continued growth in grey divorce rates, accompanied by new support systems and services specifically designed for this demographic. The emergence of specialised divorce coaches, therapists, and support groups catering to this group is already evident.

This growing phenomenon presents both challenges and opportunities. While grey divorce can be emotionally and financially challenging, it also represents a new kind of freedom – the freedom to reimagine life in its later chapters.